In order that we might make your next visit to our party an even more pleasurable experience, please take a few moments to document your journey with us by filling out this questionnaire.

I arrived to the last HFH gig by
4 legs
on a stretcher
can't remember, I was already plastered

The purpose of my visiting HFH gigs is
espionage on behalf on Lawrence Livermoore Special Research Laboratory

Upon me trying to obtain a password on the HFH website three month ago, the webmaster
said: "You must be joking"
laughed hysterically
explained me politely that God had instructed him/her to assign me a password & to communicate me the same using PGP 5.02 & let me guess

When the HFH Syadmin told me there was no record whatsoever of me ever being a registered member of HFH, I responded by
shrugging philosophically
becoming graphically abusive
threatening to hire the services of Master Bakker Schut
pulling a very strong magnet

I would be less likely to visit the HFH parties if I were aware that
two-thirds of the members suffer from grave emotional troubles
three-quarts of the members have a drinking problem
four-fifth of the members are drug addicts
a significant minority of the members are perverts
the laughing gas is watered down, and so are the mushrooms

When I last visited the HFH site control room (at webnet) I noticed the techies-in-charge
fumbling around with long strings of electrical wire
sacrificing small animals
engaging in exotic martial art dances
snorting some kind of detergent powder

Last question. How many time did you visit the HFH website recently?
6 times
7 times
couldnt find

Given that I no longer have circulation in my legs or arms after being given massage by HFH hostesses and have contracted tuberculosis from being banished to draughty balconies, and knowing that the president, vice president and secretary-founders of the HFH/Hacktic Enterprises Holding have made fifteen million last year by selling out secretely to Microsoft Inc., I feel
very happy
deliriously happy
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